Turning Criticism into Encouragement

A little kid proudly showed his grandparents the clay egg tart he had carefully made.

👵🏻👨🏻‍🦳 examined the tart and said, “The egg tart is nice, but…”

His smile faded. He looked down at his creation, suddenly unsure of its worth. Before he could say anything, 👵🏻👨🏻‍🦳 continued with the well-intentioned criticism.

His mom had been watching from the doorway. She was the one who encouraged him to show this to his grandparents 😮‍💨

She remembered those same words from her own childhood. Every drawing, every test—even it was 💯, it always met with a “but,” followed by a critique. 💭Why love has to expressed through correction? Why it has to be given with a reminder of what could be better?

She walked over to him and said, “BUT what’s most important is that you had fun making this and that you’re proud of what you did.”

He asked, “But… is it really not good?”

“This egg tart is special because it represents our culture AND you made it. The crust might not be perfect, but it shows that you’re learning and trying new things, and that’s what matters most.”

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Whether the story is true or not isn’t the most important part. What matters is that there are parts of this story that resonate deeply with us AND we can make positive parenting in Cantonese happen!